Transcript
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Welcome to Refined Leadership ADHD Lens with Kathy Rashidian.
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Discover how to refine your leadership through the lens of ADHD.
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Whether you're advancing toward a promotion or redefining your professional
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approach, you're in the right place.
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Join our community for tailored insights that elevate your leadership.
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Let's dive in. Welcome to another episode with Coach Kathy.
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Today in Refined Leadership, we are going to be talking about living in your
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truth and purpose For leaders with ADHD,
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if you've ever struggled with goal setting, making decisions,
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or even understanding where your life is headed, this episode is for you.
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For professionals with ADHD, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel can feel
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almost impossible at times.
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But what if I told you that living in your truth and aligning with your purpose
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could make that tunnel a lot clearer.
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This episode dives into the power of creating personal mission statement and
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setting meaningful vision and mission so that you're not just using this as
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another productivity tool,
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but a foundation for decision-making,
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boundary setting, and building self-esteem.
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These strategies I believe truly help you to do three things.
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Navigate the overwhelming process of figuring out what's next.
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Staying motivated when the ADHD brain gets bored and wants to derail you.
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And also feel confident and aligned with your direction in your career or be it in your life.
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Stick around because by the end of this episode, you'll have a better sense
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of how to embrace your truth and use it as a compass for wherever you're going.
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So if you are multitasking, I beg of you to listen to this episode once as you're
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multitask, come back to it again a second time and take a pen and paper and
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do the exercises that I'm going to walk you through.
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This one is a bit of a self-paced training, if you will, that I'm putting in this episode.
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So let's talk about how ADHD shows up in goal setting.
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For those of us with ADHD, setting goals and thinking about the future often
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feels like staring into a foggy mirror.
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It's too hard to see the full picture. And I think I want to tie this to time
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blindness for us to see the future. Sometimes we can't even we don't even know
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what we're going to do next week.
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And I think one of the things that I really don't like is when people ask,
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what's your three-year plan?
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I don't know, dude. For now, I'm here. I'm living it up. So it can get jarring. But here's the thing.
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Creating a personal mission statement, an impact statement, and aligning it
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with your truth and not masking isn't just a feel-good exercise.
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It actually gives you a practical tool that works uniquely well with this brain
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of ours that actually doesn't perform really well under uncertainty.
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And let's just be honest, no brain performs well under uncertainty,
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but ours is just a little bit extra intense.
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So when we anchor ourselves with a mission and purpose, we create a framework
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that supports, I believe, four things.
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Here are these four things. Decision making. When we're in that framework,
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it gives us clarity when the ADHD mind is overwhelmed with options.
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Instead of second guessing every move, you have a guidepost to rely on.
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Secondly, boundary setting. Knowing your mission helps you say yes to what truly
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matters and no to what doesn't,
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protecting your energy and focus and also taming that shiny new object syndrome.
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Thirdly, motivation. Goals tied to a purpose ignite the brain to naturally get
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curious, be passionate about the thing,
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making it easier for us to stay engaged.
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ADHD needs to be interested. It needs to be curious. We like it when we're in
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wonder and what's going to happen.
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A fourth and final thing that I like to bring into this framework that it supports is self-esteem.
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Living aligned with our values, purpose builds confidence.
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You're no longer fighting against yourself. You're embracing who you are and where you want to go.
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This isn't about perfection, people, or achieving some unrealistic ideal.
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I know many of us, this is being published in January at the beginning of the year.
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Here's another goal setting episode. But I want you to please pay attention
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to this. This is not your typical goal setting kind of an exercise.
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This is about understanding the tools and mindset that work for you and using
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them to carve a path forward that feels authentic and also achievable.
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Here's a little plug. This is going to be a two-part episode.
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In this part, we are going to talk about the fundamentals things,
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the foundational things.
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And in the second part of this episode, which will be published later,
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we are going to go into, great, now you've set the mission, vision, and goal.
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How do we get it done? So there will be a part two of this.
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So now, there's another piece of ADHD lens that I want to bring in,
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which is about rumination and overwhelm.
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So without a clear roadmap, the ADHD brain has a tendency to fall into cycles
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of rumination and catastrophization.
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As Dr. Ned Halewald would say it, we don't have that switch that says,
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wait, you're in ruminating, come back to doing the task.
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We can get sucked into rumination like it's nobody's business.
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So these are the nuanced challenges that often come with also this rumination
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and overwhelm wired brain.
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Three of them. Rumination. Our thoughts spiral around past decisions or future
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possibilities, creating a mental loop that are hard to escape.
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Another thing that happens in the absence of this framework,
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we sit in that overwhelming indecision.
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The constant generation of ideas and sheer number of possibilities can make
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it really feel impossible to even make progress, even though it's actually stimulating for us.
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We won't make progress decision fatigue sets in
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and we end up stuck last but
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not least also we notice that we end up in shame
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and guilt often these are feelings creeping when we believe we're not living
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up to our potential how many times have we heard that in our lifetime or doing
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what we should be doing and these long-held beliefs weigh us down and keep us
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from moving forward So to combat all of this stuff.
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Creating this framework and roadmap becomes essential.
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I remember as I transitioned out of corporate life into business ownership,
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for me, this exercise that I'm about to give you all, I held that exercise close to my heart.
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It was actually literally sitting at my desk for the first three years of my business.
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And now it's become ingrained in me. and actually every year I'll review it
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to see what I want to modify and delete.
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The structure that it gives us, as much as we can be anti-structure and routine,
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but what it does, it really helps
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with quietening that inner critic and reframing our negative beliefs.
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It provides just the right amount of challenge to spark interest and engagement.
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Remember, we're not going for far-reaching goals. We're looking for goals that
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actually, or the purpose or the
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mission that is just the right amount of difficult to get us into action.
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And also it keeps us moving forward in a way that feels intentional and achievable.
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Another thing I always like to say to my clients is we want to move from accidental
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success to intentional success.
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For those of us high-performing, high-achieving leaders, we have done a lot in our lifetime.
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But sometimes, let's be honest, some of it was a little bit accidentally successful.
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And imagine if we created more intentional success.
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So by giving your brain a framework to follow, you're not just combating overwhelm.
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You're creating an environment where you can thrive, free from weight of indecision,
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self-doubt, and that little monkey always creating doubt in you.
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So how do we do this? How to live in your truth and authenticity.
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There's three key steps that I think are fundamental to this.
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This exercise is all about aligning with your truth and authentic self.
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I am all about integrity, being our true self, but also to do it in a way that
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we come across as approachable, that we come across as people want to listen
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to us and that we don't overwhelm people around us.
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So there are countless ways to do this exercise.
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But after working with many professionals over the years that I've had the honor
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of coaching and also learning from top, top-notch mentors in the field of coaching,
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I have come up with the three key elements that I think are truly important
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to get this going. So, first one.
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Defining your purpose, what does that mean? Purpose is the reason something
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is done or created or why something really exists.
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It's that impact statement for us. This is where in our heart of hearts, you feel aligned.
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It's what puts you in a state of flow and represents the impact you want to make.
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Think of purpose as the combination of your strengths, your talents,
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your values, all providing you a clear direction, a compass, if you will.
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So for example, I'll share with you a long format statement that is my purpose
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statement and a short one.
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So when it comes to my coaching, my purpose statement, it goes like this.
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I guide leaders with ADHD to authentically amplify their strengths and craft
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their own path to success through empathetic, insightful coaching.
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My approach transforms professional perspectives and empowers my clients to
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inspire and lead others effectively, encouraging integrity and compassion in pursuing their dreams.
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Notice I'm using some key words in there like integrity, compassion, dreams, empathetic.
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These are some of the things that are within my values, strengths,
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and who I am at my core. So I bring that into my impact statement.
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A shorter version of that could look like this. I empower leaders with ADHD
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to authentically amplify their strengths.
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Creating a ripple of positive change that naturally draws others in,
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making a heartfelt impact.
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So there's two different versions for your inspiration.
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But the biggest thing that how that purpose statement came about was truly looking
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at my values, strengths, and who I want to serve and how I want to serve my clients.
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So to create this purpose statement for yourself, there's three key questions
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that can help you create that same kind of a statement that I did.
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And for those of you that are sitting in perfectionism right now,
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I want yourself to check in on Perfectionist Anonymous because this doesn't
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have to be perfect as long as you have a statement that you can continually modify.
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If you've never done this kind of work, you want to write your first bad draft,
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change it again, change it again, change it again.
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The ones that I read to you were truly not the same statements that I created
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seven years ago when I started going down the coaching path.
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It has evolved over time.
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So our purpose statement can truly change and be flexible. So here's three questions
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that you can support you build this statement.
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I want you to answer these three questions.
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When do I feel most engaged with what I am doing? What lights you up?
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What do I care about most in the world?
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What am I doing when I feel most aligned with my strengths and values?
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Now, I'm not going to dissect what each question means because I want you to
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interpret it the way that you have interpreted and answer it the way that makes sense for you.
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So that there is no right or wrong answer. There is no like this is the way
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you're supposed to answer this question. There isn't.
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It's just answer the questions, sit with what it is, see what's on your heart.
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So that's first step, defining your purpose.
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Second step is to define your mission.
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Your mission is essentially your strategy, the steps and tactics you will use
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to live into your purpose.
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These are actionable elements that help you align with your purpose.
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For the project managers that are listening to this, think of these as your
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milestones, the things that you need to hit to deliver the final project.
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So these are the key milestones that we want to hit. One of my examples is this.
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One of milestones within my mission is creating the Quantum Thinkers ADHD community,
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a space where leaders come together and grow together.
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And this membership actually aligns with my purpose, which is about fostering
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connection, growth, and empowering professionals with ADHD.
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You see, this is one of the tactics that I have, that I have many more,
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that align to my purpose, that fuel it, that keep it going.
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So the question that I want you to think about is what strategies or actions
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will you outline that will fuel or live into your purpose?
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Write down the practical high level different ways that these strategies can come into play.
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All right, so we've done defining your purpose, then we went after defining
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your mission, and now the third one, which is the vision.
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So in this one, we want you to create a vision or a mental image of what it looks like.
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What does it look like when you are doing this?
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So visualization is a powerful tool.
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Picture yourself living in alignment with your purpose and mission. Be detailed.
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What are you doing? Who are you speaking to? What activities are filling up your days?
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Imagine how it feels truly to live authentically and to create the impact you desire.
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The mental image serves as both an inspiration and also a reminder.
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It helps keep your goals vivid and tangible, making it easier for you to focus.
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Now, here's the trick with this last one. As much as I say to be detailed about it,
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Don't go to the extreme of over-detailed about it, because what happens with
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us in our brain, if we give it way too much detail and you over-engineer it,
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you'll lose the motivation to actually execute because the brain goes,
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great, we did it, homework done.
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So there's a fine balance of when you're visualizing your vision and you're
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putting the details of all the different tasks and activities that you don't overdo it.
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And in the following episode, when we go into the doing part of this,
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how do you bring it to life? I will go more into that.
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But for now, permission that you don't over-engineer your vision piece of this exercise.
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So we got purpose, which is about your impact, your mission,
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which is all the different things you're going to do to bring life to that impact,
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and the vision of how you're going to do it, what does it look like?
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So pulling it all together, as we bring this episode to a close,
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I want to leave you with a few actionable takeaways and resources to support your journey.
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If you're unsure about your life values
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and you're like well how do i even
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know what my values are i want you to go to ready set truths.com
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ready set truths.com my website on the home page you'll find a free downloadable
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link it's called life values assessment super free you don't have to pay for
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it just your email on the home page you can download that use that as exercise one,
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If anything, like before you even do the purpose, mission, blah,
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blah, blah, you could do a values assessment.
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Now, if you're curious about your character strengths, because I talk about
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character strengths, right?
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I want you to check out viacharacter.org.
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They offer an excellent free survey to identify your top five strengths.
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And remember, I was incorporating my strengths in my mission statement or my
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purpose statement also.
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So a combination of those, knowing what your values are, knowing what your character
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strengths are, super important.
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And for my members inside
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the quantum thinkers community we will
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go deeper into this exercise and there
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will be a worksheet that we're going to work through together and for now i
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want you to you know mull over what we just talked about think about your mission
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state your purpose statement and mission statement and together we will do those
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exercises in our private community at at Quantum Thinkers.
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So my friends, remember, living in alignment with your truth is a journey, not a destination.
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This whole life is a journey, honestly.
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Start small, reflect on one question, take one step.
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The important thing is that you're moving forward, not getting stuck in rumination.
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Even the smallest action, I always say, can create ripples of positive change
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in your work life, in your personal life, and in the lives of others truly.
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So you've got this, and I can't wait to hear how y'all are doing with aligning
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your purpose, mission, and vision statement.
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And it's been a delight to deliver this little masterclass to you.
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And stay tuned for part two of this episode, where I will go into the execution part of things.
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So until next time, my friends keep on shining and keep on leading with.
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Music.